I've been lying to myself...

...and it's been working.  Lying, pretending, imagining... whatever you want to call it.  I've been telling myself that my hair is fine.  It's okay.  It's normal.  All my hair is nice and even, silky and smooth.  I've been telling myself that there are no course, thick, or kinky hairs.  There are no frail and thin hairs.  There are no short hairs sticking straight up.  There are no fly away hairs refusing to lay in place.  All the hairs on my head are just as they should be.

And why have I been lying?  Cause it's kept me from fishing for those bad hairs.  Although I know the truth... there probably is some hair that isn't quite right.  But when I'm imaging that they are all fine, I don't go looking for those hairs.  I'm just pretending that they aren't there.  It has honestly kept me from touching my hair.  Crazy, I know.  But it's working.     

Stronger

I mentioned on my About Me page that I love country music (Brad hates it... poor guy).  Well, I recently got Julie Roberts cd Alive and I just love the song "Stronger"... I had to share it.  Even if you don't love or even like country music you have to listen to these lyrics.  

Here's the lyrics for you too:

I fall sometimes

I crawl sometimes

I lose it all sometimes

And it makes me stronger

Crash land sometimes

By my own hand sometimes

I tear up my plans sometimes

And it makes me stronger

I curse sometimes

And even worse sometimes

Oh how it hurts sometimes

And it makes me stronger

I weep sometimes

I can't sleep sometimes

I get in too deep sometimes

And it makes me stronger

(Chorus)

And when I start thinking that no one's there

No one knows and no one cares

I get tired and I get scared

'Til I remember the one my soul who owns

Who promised I'd never be alone

When I bow down before his throne

It makes me stronger

Stronger 

Stronger

Oh Stronger

When I bow down before his throne

It makes me stronger

I forget sometimes

What I regret sometimes

And I forgive sometimes

It makes me stronger

I trust sometimes

Just enough sometimes

To give it up sometimes

And it makes me stronger

(Repeat Chorus)

Stronger

Stronger

Oh Stronger

When I bow down before his throne

It makes me stronger

I fall sometimes

I crawl sometimes

Lose it all sometimes

It makes me stronger

Like I've said before, I am horrible at remembering to take pills, medicine, vitamins and such.  Surprisingly,  I've been able to remember to take my NAC everyday (I think), but it hasn't been easy.  So finally this weekend I headed to Target and got a pill box.  I filled it up for the week, two a day.  And now if I can't remember if I took one at breakfast or not- I can just check and see.  Such a simple thing, but this is going to be so helpful for me and my poor memory :)

   

Oh, and I've reached my personal record of 12 days pull free!  Back in high school, when I was in track we got a juice every time we got a PR... maybe I should treat myself to something today :)

When I was a part of Trich Support we had pull free challenges all the time... I don't remember keeping track of days then.  So I'm not sure how well I ever did (doesn't help that I have a horrible memory).  

When I first started this blog, I was pull free for a week.  Then six months later (took me a while to get back on the horse), I was pull free for 12 days.  That was the longest I had gone (to my knowledge).  Once again, it took me like half a year before I tried again.  No matter how many days I go, I really want to get up and try again the very next day.  Not six months later.  I want to try every day- even if I pull day after day.

Oh- and I got a "happy dance" today from Brad after he counted my ten beads :)

Just an update... still pull free.  Today's been a little challenging though.  My oldest had to stay home from school today cause she's sick (she was in tears cause now she no longer has perfect attendance).  So my day has been filled with getting nothing accomplished, trying to cheer up a sad little kindergartner and make her feel better, and entertain the other two little ones.  I keep finding my hands reaching for those lashes.  I haven't pulled, but I've touched... and that could be trouble.  Need to make it through today!  Might need to take a shower or something.

Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of your right hand when you're right handed?!  Sheesh! 

Source: Uploaded by user via Kimberly on Pinterest

Ugh!  I think I need to go to bed before I give in.  Early bedtime?!  Maybe.