I've been using Maybelline's Define-A-Brow for some time now.  I knew I was running low so I went to Target to get another... couldn't find it.  And with my luck, I actually ran out the next day.  Completely gone.  I guess I was more than just running low.  So today I had to run errands without my brows filled it.  I decided to try stopping by Walgreen's and see if they had.  They did- just the wrong color.  And there wasn't even a spot for the light blonde.  Crap!  So I started looking at other brands, not really sure what to get.  Then the sweet old lady asked if I needed help.  I told her that they didn't appear to have what I was looking for and she recommended this:  Milani Easybrow in Natural Taupe (I just saw this Brow Fix on their site- seems interesting... might have to check that out).  

Before and After

(It's a pretty subtle difference cause I put it on pretty light- wasn't sure how the color was going to be.  So I'm sure it will look better when I've used a few more times).  Overall, pretty happy- and it was cheap too!

Josie shared another great video.  Brought tears to my eyes.  Thanks for spreading awareness and bringing hope to so many!

Good luck, Josie!

picture via Josie's Facebook page
As Mrs. North Carolina, Josie will be competing in the preliminary competition today and the final competition will be held on Wednesday, August 28th.  Josie is TLC's Awareness Ambassador, she is a part of the trich community, one of us... and she is helping spread the word about trichotillomania.  You can watch the competition live online. Go to mrsamerica.com for more details (I did check it out- it is a live stream of the pageant, but it is pay per view just so you know).
picture via mrsamerica.com
Good luck, Josie!!  The trich community is behind you and wishing you the best!

Last night wasn't great... the pulling seemed non-stop.

But today is a new day!

"Our you taking responsibility for your life... really?"

I just had to share this with you.  My church just finished watching a series by Andy Stanley called "Taking Responsibility For Your Life".  It is such a great and practical message.  If you have time- sit down and watch or listen to this four part message (Let the Blames Begin, The Disproportionate Life, This is No Time to Pray, and Embrace Your Response Ability) .

Watch message series here:

Taking Responsibility for Your Life 

Mrs. North Carolina is on her way!

Josie posted this picture yesterday

She is on her way now to Mrs. America.  And she is definitely going to make the trich community proud!  Good luck, Josie!

Watch the live stream of the pageant at www.mrsamerica.com. Prelims are Monday, the 26th (not broadcasting 100% of the time) and Finals are at 8 pm EST on the 28th.

Today is the birthday of my biggest supporter!  So thankful to have Brad as my husband and best friend!  My journey is so much better with him by my side!  Happy Birthday, Brad!

Gratitude

Years and years ago (like back in high school) I had a gratitude journal.  I think I got the idea from Oprah (my older sister Christina used to be a big Oprah fan).  I simply wrote down like 5 things a day that I was thankful for that day.  And I'm thinking I should do something like this again because...  

So I'm still deciding what I want to do exactly, but I might start a weekly post of what I'm grateful for.  And I'm hoping this attitude of gratitude will get me out of my funk, but more importantly... this is something I should be doing anyway.  God has blessed me and I want to give Him thanks for all that He has done.

So to start off... I'm going to sound cliché and say that I'm thankful for my family.  In regards to my trich, they are SO supportive.  They all know I have it and they all love me the same.  And even the little things like, my sister Kimberly posts about Trichotillomania Awareness Week on her facebook page and she bought me a spinner ring, my in-laws, parents and sisters donated money to the documentary Trichster... they support me and it means so much!  Some people suffer alone.  But I'm not alone- I'm supported and loved by my family.  And for that I am grateful! 

Print available at Lindsey Letters

I'm still here.  I'm just not feeling great.  And haven't had much to say.  I don't know why, but I've been feeling down lately.  I don't want to use the word "depressed" because depression is a serious illness.  And having people close to me who have suffered with depression... I don't use the word lightly.  Besides that I've never been diagnosed with depression.  So... I'm not saying "I'm depressed".  I'm just down right now and feeling sad for no reason... or maybe it's a million reasons?  So I'm still here.  Just trying to figure out a way to pick myself up out of this funk.  

I know in some cases, people with trich suffer from depression or anxiety.  Maybe that's me.  And maybe that person is you.  So while I'm on this subject... I want to share a book with you: "Not Alone, Stories Of Living With Depression."  Each chapter of this book is written by someone who has experienced depression in their lives.  The book is broken up into several categories: Awareness, Acceptance, Recovery, and Post-Depression Reflections.  My sister is one of the contributing authors; her story can be found in chapter 22, The Game of Life. 

Here's a peak at my sister's story:

Life didn't magically become better.  The life I knew was filled with instant gratification, fulfilling my emotions, wants, and desires.  I was in unfamiliar territory.  Could I really do this?  Just few days after I was discharged from rehab, I was staying at a hotel.  It was getting late and I couldn't sleep.  My mind was racing which was an all too familiar scenario.  Grabbing my new pack of Parliament Lights, I ran out of my room.  What I really wanted to do was run from my own thoughts.  I lit up a cigarette and broke down in tears.  Sitting on the cold sidewalk, I didn't even notice the other patrons passing me by.  Eventually I realized a man was knelt beside me.  "Are you okay," he said.  Hyperventilating I replied, "I'm fine."  He was not convinced.  As quickly as he stopped, he was gone.  His question pulled me out of that moment.  I looked down at a now half-empty pack of cigarettes, and I covered my face with my hands.  And I just whispered, "God, I need you."  I began to say it under my breath over and over and over.  The simple four-word prayer of "God, I need you," has become the simplest prayer I say everyday since that cold November night.

I don't know what's up with my emotions and feeling right now.  I don't know why I've feeling this way.  But I do know that my sister's prayer is mine too... God, I need you!