Feeling very self conscience and ugly. Straight out of the shower- little burnt hairs sticking up. Pulled my hair back in a braid- little burnt hairs sticking up. Blow dried my hair (carefully)- little burnt hairs sticking up. Not a good day. I want to pull out all those stupid hairs, but I know they'll just grow back and be little short hairs again. And it'd be an endless cycle... so I have to stick it out and deal with it. Hopefully I can :(
Friday, December 27, 2013
Thursday, December 26, 2013
I was mindlessly blowing drying my hair today (while glancing at my iPad here and there). All the sudden I get a whiff of burnt hair. You know that smell, right? Yuck. I didn't think much of it. I just figured there was a loose hair that got into the blow dryer. Later on while I was getting ready, I felt my hair... oh, my goodness, that doesn't feel right! It was crinkly and fried... and short! My hairline already has a bunch of little hairs (that don't always cooperate and lay flat). But this new addition of short hairs is much worse. They want to do nothing but stick straight up. Immediately after I discovered I burnt my hair, I drowned it in leave-in-conditioner. And later I looked in the mirror and noticed those hairs were all over the place. So I tried to water it down- didn't work. So now I have a little cluster of untameable spiky hair. The texture is a little better now (after the conditioner), but it still doesn't feel quite right. Which unfortunately just makes me want to pull it. Which I know will just make it worse (I hate trich!). I've already been growing more and more self conscience of the little hairs I already had... and I think this has put me over the edge. I'm not feeling great. To say I'm in a bad mood right now would be an understatement.
|Looks much worse and obvious in person :(|
Posted by Laura at 3:36 PM
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Not a lot of changes going on. My lashes aren't long, but they've been worse (I do have a pretty good gap on the left ones though). My brows still need to be drawn in or you can't seen 'em. And my hair still has little ones sticking out all of the place. I keep thinking I want to take NAC again (and actually take it consistently)... maybe in the New Year.
Oh, and I wanted to share a great quote a read today:
Every day, do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow!
Posted by Laura at 9:05 AM
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
TLC has some great information in their pamphlet: Expert Consensus, Treatment Guidelines for Trichotillomania, Skin Picking and Other Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.
I briefly skimmed over it today and one thing stuck out to me: (click to enlarge)
You know, I've read those statements before saying that people have trich because of some past trauma or abuse... and I was lost. That's not me... so why do I have trich? I was confused. I didn't feel like I had some past that I needed to work out (and then magically trich would disappear). Sheesh, was there something so awful in past that I blocked it out?! I didn't think. I knew there wasn't- I've had a good life, an easy care-free childhood. So why did I have trich!?! This information has to be wrong.
And it's so great to actually see it in print "these behaviors are not generally an indication of deeper issues or unresolved trauma." Sometimes it just "is what it is." Will we ever learn why we have trich? Maybe not. And that's okay. For whatever reason, this is the card that was dealt to me. There was nothing I did that caused it, nothing in my past, no deep dark issue... I just have trich. And I'm okay with that.
Posted by Laura at 9:55 AM