My left lashes are screaming to be pulled... And the only way to shut them up is to yank 'em out.  Sucks.

No idea who gets credit for this picture cause it seems to be at a bunch of places... I found it here.

This is going to sound weird (cause it does to me)... a while back there was a one hair in my eyebrow that was really bothering me.  It was thicker than the others (hairs that seem too thick tend to bother me).  But this one was different.  When I brushed my finger across it- I could literally hear the hair make a clicking sound (not sure if clicking is the right word, but I don't really know how else to describe it).  Every time I touched it, I could hear a click in my head.  If I touched any other hair- nothing.  All the other hairs were just normal-I didn't hear anything.  I touched it again and again- same thing.  I could hear just the slightest click.  Needless to say, I pulled it.  

Inspiration #2

Yes, that's me... even though my oldest couldn't tell and kept asking me who it was.  This picture is about 14 years old.  Those are my real lashes.  An my brows could actually be seen without having to fill them in with make-up.

Trich (for me at least) really seems to come in waves.  In the 20+ years that I've had it- there are times where my lashes and brows look great and I'm not concerned about thinning hair.  And there are other times where there have been major gaps in my lashes and such.  And currently, I think I'm at my worst.  The few lashes that I have are very short.  My brows are so light and thin that they need to be drawn in.  And no matter where my hair is parted, there are short little hairs sticky out.  I also feel like I've been at this point for a really long time.  I don't want it to be like this.  I want to look normal!  I know I can have long lashes and filled in brows- I have before... even with trich.  

I so badly want them back.  

Does a bad hair day affect your well- being?  Well, according to the MSN article and their online poll- looks like most people say "yes."  

"The study, conducted by Proctor & Gamble, found that even the thought of a bad hair day made both men and women feel less intelligent. In addition, it was reported that men feel less self-confident and more nervous when they don’t like their hair, while women feel embarrassed and ashamed."  And this is just regular people having a bad hair day.  It's no wonder that those suffering from trich feel so much embarrassment and shame... everyday is a bad hair day! 

Amy L. Flowers, PhD, a psychologist with expertise in self-esteem and body image said, "you can't hate the way you look and still love yourself."  Wow!  Guess I need to learn to except what I see in the mirror (bare lashes, thinning brows, new growth sticking straight out of my head and all).  I may have trich for the rest of my life, but I don't need to hate the way I look for the rest of my life.  It's not good for myself... it's more damaging to myself than the act of pulling.  I need to learn to except what I look like (hair or not) and love myself either way!  Easier said than done for sure! 

Flowers also added, "we assume that others see us the way we see ourselves, so if we don't like a particular feature (like our hair), we assume that others find it repulsive, too.”  People don't see what I see.  How often I forget that!!  Although I have hardly any lashes, when I talk to people they say that they didn't notice.  I'm my worst critic.  It's something I need to change.  

Found this on pinterest:
This DIY Mascara will Lengthen Your Eyelashes.

The homemade concoction is castor oil, aloe vera gel and vitamin E oil.  I've seen plenty of products out there that claim to strengthen your lashes and make them grow faster and longer, but they are so expensive!

The comment section from this article had a lot of people saying they wanted to try it, but no testimonials or before and afters.  Some people did mention coconut oil too... hmmmm?  Anyone ever try anything like this?  For lashes or hair?      

I sent Jamie a message the other day after my hair appointment...

I just wanted to say thank you for being so wonderful today!  I know for most people going to a salon and getting their hair done is no big deal.  I, on the other- hand, get extremely anxious.  Prior to seeing Rachael, I rarely got my hair cut and colored.  In fact, my husband used to dye my hair- crazy I know!  I was so self-conscious of my hair loss and damage that I didn't want anyone to see it and judge me.  So whenever I mustered up enough courage, I'd go to some random place with some random stylist and hope to never see them again.

Rachael first started off doing my kids hair until I finally had enough guts to tell her about my disorder and have her do my hair.  It was the first time I've ever felt comfortable having my hair done.  So when she said she was done, my heart sunk.  Crap- I'd have to find someone new that I actually feel comfortable with or go back to going to a random person every six months or more.

So... huge thank you for making me feel normal today and not like some freak!  Cause trust me- most people with trich feel everything but normal.  It's not easy having a disorder that makes you feel uglier and so self-conscious about it.  And although it effects up to 9 million Americans- not many people have heard of it... which just makes it all the more awkward when telling people.  So... again- thank you for being wonderful to me!  I really appreciate it!!

I also shared with her the link to TLC.  She responded with a simple, "You are very welcome :)  It was nice chatting with you yesterday!!!  I'm glad you were able to relax and have some mommy time!!  We all need that once in awhile!!"    She even suggested getting together for a playdate.

I think she'll be a good fit :)  Clearly not judgmental and treated my trich like it was no big deal.  Oh, and she even lives in my neighborhood and goes to my church... our kids have played in the nursery together.  Small world :)   

Inspiration!

These gorgeous lashes belong to my oldest 

(she had a school dance so I let her wear mascara).

I'd love to hear from you!

Want to post a comment, but not sure how?  Well, at the bottom of each post you'll see this:

Just click on the "No comments" or if someone already has commented you'll see this instead:

 After that you can write your comment, preview and publish it.  And if you're worried about people knowing who you are... no worries.  You can comment as "Anonymous" and no one will know :) 

I'd love to hear from you!

New Stylist Update

Well, I had my appointment today with Jamie.  I was a little anxious when I first walked into the salon.  The salon was pretty empty (probably because I had an early appointment and the weather's awful today).  There were just a couple of customers there so the place was pretty quiet... quiet like, you could hear peoples' conversations.  Crap!!  If I tell Jamie about my trich, everyone in here will hear it!  Well, by the time I got seated in the chair, I started to forget about all the other people.  And I told her that I have trich- not sure if she's really heard of it, but she said she knows someone that pulls at their lashes.  I showed her where my hair was the thinnest and pointed out all the little short regrowth that I had.  And she just acted like it wasn't a big deal- phew!  And it's a good thing it wasn't an awkward experience cause I'm heading back to see her this afternoon with the kids (2 of them are getting their hair cut today too). 

Want to tell your stylist about trich?

Well, I just found this tonight- A Confidential Note to My Hairdresser About Trich.  Overall, I think it's a pretty good letter to share if you feel uncomfortable talking with your stylist.  Or like pullfreeatlast.com stated, "this wording of my 'template' may give you some ideas about how you might want to phrase things."  The one part of the letter I (personally) don't like is where it states, "Please respect the sensitive nature of my issues and DO NOT ask me questions or bring it up with me." Now I know some people may not want to talk openly, but I think it's important that we spread awareness.  And by talking with our stylists- we're educated them and making trich known.  Anyway... I'll be talking with my new stylist tomorrow morning and I'll let you know how it goes!  

The last time I got my hair cut and highlighted was back in September.  If you remember, I need a new stylist.  And I actually have an appointment this Thursday with someone new.  I don't know this stylist (it's not like an old friend or anything) so I'm a little nervous.  I need to tell her about that I have trich.  I need to just get it out there... cause honestly once I do I'll feel much better.  Hopefully she's at least heard of it- that'd help... make it a little less awkward.  Oh!  And another thing... my old stylist worked out of her home- very safe setting.  The new stylist is at a salon... so as I'm telling her about trich I may be overheard by other strangers.  YIKES!

I can do this.  I can do this.  I can do this.