Friday, December 27, 2013

Feeling very self conscience and ugly.  Straight out of the shower- little burnt hairs sticking up.  Pulled my hair back in a braid- little burnt hairs sticking up.  Blow dried my hair (carefully)- little burnt hairs sticking up.  Not a good day.  I want to pull out all those stupid hairs, but I know they'll just grow back and be little short hairs again.  And it'd be an endless cycle... so I have to stick it out and deal with it.  Hopefully I can :(

Thursday, December 26, 2013

The Smell of Burning Hair

I was mindlessly blowing drying my hair today (while glancing at my iPad here and there).  All the sudden I get a whiff of burnt hair.  You know that smell, right?  Yuck.  I didn't think much of it.  I just figured there was a loose hair that got into the blow dryer.  Later on while I was getting ready, I felt my hair... oh, my goodness, that doesn't feel right!  It was crinkly and fried... and short!  My hairline already has a bunch of little hairs (that don't always cooperate and lay flat).  But this new addition of short hairs is much worse.  They want to do nothing but stick straight up.  Immediately after I discovered I burnt my hair, I drowned it in leave-in-conditioner.  And later I looked in the mirror and noticed those hairs were all over the place.  So I tried to water it down- didn't work.  So now I have a little cluster of untameable spiky hair.  The texture is a little better now (after the conditioner), but it still doesn't feel quite right.  Which unfortunately just makes me want to pull it.  Which I know will just make it worse (I hate trich!).  I've already been growing more and more self conscience of the little hairs I already had... and I think this has put me over the edge.  I'm not feeling great.  To say I'm in a bad mood right now would be an understatement.
Looks much worse and obvious in person :(

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

I haven't posted a picture in while... 
Not a lot of changes going on.  My lashes aren't long, but they've been worse (I do have a pretty good gap on the left ones though).  My brows still need to be drawn in or you can't seen 'em.  And my hair still has little ones sticking out all of the place.  I keep thinking I want to take NAC again (and actually take it consistently)... maybe in the New Year.

Oh, and I wanted to share a great quote a read today:
Every day, do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Navy wool coat + a trichster (and two cats) = a hairy coat.  Bad idea I guess.  Maybe I need to keep a lint roller with me at all time :)  

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Reasons for trich

I briefly skimmed over it today and one thing stuck out to me: (click to enlarge)
You know, I've read those statements before saying that people have trich because of some past trauma or abuse... and I was lost.  That's not me... so why do I have trich?  I was confused.  I didn't feel like I had some past that I needed to work out (and then magically trich would disappear).  Sheesh, was there something so awful in past that I blocked it out?!  I didn't think.  I knew there wasn't- I've had a good life, an easy care-free childhood.  So why did I have trich!?!  This information has to be wrong.  

And it's so great to actually see it in print "these behaviors are not generally an indication of deeper issues or unresolved trauma."  Sometimes it just "is what it is."  Will we ever learn why we have trich?  Maybe not.  And that's okay.  For whatever reason, this is the card that was dealt to me.  There was nothing I did that caused it, nothing in my past, no deep dark issue... I just have trich.  And I'm okay with that.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Just passing this along...

(sorry I didn't share this earlier...but you still have time)

Monday, November 25, 2013


Between now and December 1st you can save 10% at Crazy Aaron's Putty World- just use the code: turkey2013. They say there will also be some deals going on Cyber Monday (December 2). So go check it out... thinking putty would be a great stocking stuffer for the trichster in your life... or for yourself :)  Picture below is one of their holiday putties- Candy Cane.  It's a heat sensitive hypercolor putty that turns from red to creamy white.  Pretty cool.
Image via Crazy Aaron's Putty World.  

Friday, November 15, 2013

I'm still around guys- I promise :)  Life has just been a little busy... maybe stressful is a better word for it.  The pulling hasn't changed much- nothing new to report there.  All I can say is I am looking forward to the weekend!  Awesome plans?  Nope.  No plans at all.  Hopefully lots of sleep will be happening- I think that would help my stress a great deal... which would also help with the pulling.  Tired, completely worn out and stressed is not great for this trichster.  So hopefully a great weekend is in store.  Hope you guys have a great weekend too!  
Image via Sevenly

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Trich or Treat?

Back when I was apart of Trich Support, they would do different challenges (to encourage us to not pull and to be accountable to each other).  I remember one October they had a pull-free challenge called "Trich or Treat?"... catchy, huh? :)  
Well, here's my little Halloween challenge for you... Thursday (10/31) we're going to pick "treat" instead of "trich".  Not choosing trich can mean something different for each of us... being pull-free for the day, pulling less for the day, trying to be more aware of our triggers, learning to accept trich and who were are... pick what your part of trich you are going to work on that day.  And your treat?  Maybe a nice warm bath, going for a walk, getting your special order at the coffee shop, getting a manicure... pick a nice treat for yourself.  You deserve it!

So what's it going to be?  What's your trich goal for Halloween and how are you going to treat yourself?

(And yes, that adorable Jack-o-Lantern was made by my oldest).

Monday, October 28, 2013

Share your story!

TLC shared this link today on their Facebook page- they want YOU to share your BFRB (Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior) experience with them.  As they shared, "People need and want to hear your story, so please share! We are looking for all types of stories: your struggles; your successes; your experience in general!"
So go, check it out and share your story.

Here's the questions they asked in case you're curious. And they also say to feel free to answer as many or as little of the following questions.

1.  Tell us a little bit about yourself!
2.  How did you find out or get involved with the Trichotillomania Learning Center?
3.  How has hair pulling or skin picking affected you?
4.  Do you feel comfortable sharing a time that was really difficult?
5.  What advice do you have for others who suffer?
6.  What's a good tip for parents who have a child suffering from a BFRB?
7.  Was there a turning point for you during your struggle with the disorder?
8.  Who is an inspiration to you and why?
9.  What is your greatest strength?

Good reminder

Pic via Clean & Scentsible

Monday, October 21, 2013

Yesterday I gave in to every urge to pull... and my lashes suffered the most (I did pull a lot from my scalp too).
Am I beating myself up about it?  No.  I know I'll have ups and downs.  And I know that today's a new day.

Sunday, October 20, 2013


I always feel so self-conscious at church.  It's one of the few place I go where people are sitting directly behind me... staring at the back of my head (okay, they're probably not staring at the back of my head, but...).  I always get a little anxious that my thin patch is showing or that all those little new growths are sticking out in every which direction and that the person behind me is thinking, "what the heck is wrong with her hair?!".  And I know that in actuality the person behind me probably hasn't thought twice about my hair.  I know it's all in my own head... which almost makes it more annoying.  I mean- if someone was actually making fun of me then I guess I could have reason to feel so self-conscious and anxious.

Now I have to say, my self-consciousness at church is nothing compared to how I used to feel getting my hair done.  Now that was awful!  I literally had to build up the courage to go... and that was like ever 6-12 months.  I hated that!  So thankful for Jamie (and my previous hairstylist Rachael- who recommend Jamie).  Now getting my hair done is not a big deal.  Phew!

So where do you feel the most self-conscious about your trich? 

Saturday, October 19, 2013

You've made the trich community proud!

Josie's reign as Mrs. North Carolina is coming to an end.  And during her reign, she has done so much for the trich community (have you seen her youtube video? you should!).  You've made us proud, Josie!  Thanks for all you did!!  Here's Josie's farewell (click to enlarge or check it out here):

TLC shared some highlights of BFRB Awareness Week.
"Our voices combined across the globe; reaching tens of thousands of people during BFRB Awareness Week! TLC's facebook posts alone reached 17,843 individuals, and we were truly touched by the personal stories of outreach that we received from sufferers of all ages." For their BFRB Awareness Week Highlights, click here.

During the week of Trichotillomania & Skin Picking Awareness Week, I posted daily on Facebook.  And I got a lot of supportive comments and "likes" from friends and families.  Some of the links I posted where shared by others- reaching even more people!  I even had a friend share with me that she also has trich (so proud of you!!).  It was a good week- and I hope more people were made aware of trich and I hope other trichsters realized that they are not alone!

So did you guys do anything to help spread awareness?  Have any experiences, stories to share?  

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


Have you heard of Sevenly? I can't believe I haven't heard of this group until today.
Image from Beauty Pullover Hoodie, sold at Sevenly.
Here's their mission:
"In January of 2011, two young Entrepreneurs Dale Partridge and Aaron Chavez got together with the mission of leading a generation toward generosity. With a belief that people mattered, they began a journey to change the world. On June 13th 2011, Sevenly was born. By creating weekly cause campaigns where customers could purchase products that gave $7 to a weekly charity, Sevenly successfully unlocked not only a way to crowd-fund for causes, but to drive massive social awareness as well."
Image from Be You Tee, sold at Sevenly.
How cool is that?!? This week, purchases from their site will goes toward To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA). "To Write Love on Her Arms is dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."  This organization is close to my sister's heart- I know they have made a great impact on her life (My sister recently celebrated her 7 year sobriety- how awesome is that?!?!!!).  

It's great to see a group like Sevenly doing something to help other great organizations.  As of now, this week's campaign for TWLOHA has earned $14,357 (and counting).  And next week, it'll be another great cause. You can check out their past campaigns here (they've donated to Humane Society, Invisible Children, Autism Speaks, and Compassion International to name a few).
Image from Be The Change Print, sold at Sevenly.
(It's not just tees either, they have jewelry, bags, prints, baby toys... go check it out!)

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Curly Hair

I don't have Instagram (I don't  even have a smart phone)... so this isn't a #tbt ("throw back Thursday").  This just happens to be a old picture of me, that I just happen to post on a Thursday :)

Thought I'd share these old pictures of my hair.  My random curly hair.  Yes.  Random.  Just before my senior year in high school, my hair started to get curly.  People even asked me if I got a perm.  The curls lasted a while... about half way through college.  Then slowly I could see the curls growing out... until it was gone.
Both pics are from my senior year in high school.

Oh, and of course... I had curly hair when Brad and I first started dating.  So he loves my hair curly.  Maybe someday it will randomly decide to come back :)

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Yesterday my mom asked me how I was doing (have I ever mentioned that I have a super supportive mom?  Cause I do!!).  Now that Trichotillomania & Skin Picking Awareness week is over, how are you doing?  How are your beads coming along?  And I told her- I have no beads.  And I'm not really even trying.  I've had trich for a long long time.  Sometimes I fight it and sometimes I don't- both can be exhausting!  The amount of time my brain spends on thinking about trich is ridiculous sometimes.  And I don't want it to consume me (both the pulling side and the fighting to stay pull-free side).  As important at it is to fight trich and resist the urges, it's also important to just be okay with the fact that: I have trichotillomania and I probably always will.  "It is what it is."  So yes, I still want a full set of long beautiful lashes, I still want brows that don't need to be drawn in, I still want hair with no thin patches and new growth sticking out everywhere... BUT I also want to be okay with me.  Hair, little hair, no hair- whatever.  It's me.      
Image via Mama Marchand's Nest

Monday, October 7, 2013

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Losing Your Hair

Saw this today on the front of today...
so I had to check it out!
Losing your hair? It may an easy fix—like getting more or less of a vitamin—or trickier to treat.
It's true that men are more likely to lose their hair than women, mostly due to male pattern baldness (more on that later).
But thinning hair and hair loss are also common in women, and no less demoralizing. Reasons can range from the simple and temporary—a vitamin deficiency—to the more complex, like an underlying health condition.
In many cases, there are ways to treat both male and female hair loss. It all depends on the cause. Here are some common and not-so-common reasons why you might be seeing less hair on your head.
--By Amanda Gardner,

I was curious if they mentioned trich (actually I assumed they would- they're giving 21 reasons. I was actually curious what they'd say about it). And here you have it (click image to enlarge):
What to check it out yourself? Find full 21 reason slide show here.

FYI: Whenever I see articles like this I try to take the opportunity to post in the comment section and share a link to TLC or something.  This is a great way to inform people and spread awareness.  And hey, it's Trichotillomania & Skin Picking Awareness Week still!  Perfect! :)  

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Are you parent of a child with trich? Check out how you can make some noise!

From TLC:

Top 5 Ways for Parents to MAKE SOME NOISE

by Wendy, parent of a beautiful trichster
As parents were are tireless advocates for our children.  We spend hours coaching sports teams, volunteering at school, tussling with the PTA, finding just the right camp and DRIVING for days on end.  It’s time to put some of this energy into MAKING SOME NOISE about Trichotillomania.
I am a mom of a 10-year old with Trich.  Like most of us, I was horrified, befuddled and helpless when she started pulling.  Trich was a complete unknown to me.  I was embarrassed and freaked out.  But, now it’s been over a year since she started.  My daughter is managing.  As a family we have worked hard to understand Trich.  We now reach out to our friends, teachers and health care providers to educate them about Trich.  My daughter feels empowered by her knowledge, less burdened by shame since we try to talk openly with others and supported by her community.  Now it’s your turn to MAKE SOME PARENT NOISE!
1. Be Rowdy at School!  
  • At the beginning of the school year talk to your child’s principal, teacher, nurse and school psychologist about Trich.  Provide them with the TLC materials and the TLC website.  DO THIS EVERY YEAR!  Update them on new findings.
  • If necessary establish a formal agreement with the school for accommodations for your child.  My daughter gets to wear a hat or gloves and have fidgets with her in the classroom.   REVIEW THIS EVERY YEAR.
2.       Be Disruptive in the Classroom!
  • Give a presentation on Trich to your child’s classroom.  Leave lots of room for questions.  Of course, get your child’s agreement on this, or encourage them to make a presentation on their own.  I talked to my daughter’s 3rd grade class about Trich and the kids had a ton of thoughtful questions.  Once they had a better understanding, my daughter’s pulling was not such a big deal to them.
  • Volunteer to start an anti-bullying education program at school.  My daughter’s school has implemented Project Cornerstone.  Get involved!
3. Be Heard at the Doctor’s Office!
  • Every doctor my daughter sees (I mean everyone:  pediatrician, eye doctor, dentist) receives TLC materials.  When asked “Are you familiar with Trich”, well- meaning doctors will respond:  “Well, yes… I have heard of this”.  Take this response as a “No” and start educating!!
 4. Be a Boisterous at Camp and After-School!
  • Think of the hundreds of kids that camp counselors and after-school care providers see each week!!!  When signing your kid up for programs- let the care-givers know that she has Trich.  Why mention it?  Why not!!  Think of this as an opportunity to get the word out.  Include the TLC website and materials.  Maybe you can help out another family!
5.       Be Loud and Proud!
  • Tell your friends about Trich.  Tell your family.  Post it on Facebook.  Tweet!  Throw off your own feelings of shame.  Be honest about this.  If you are ashamed or embarrassed you will only reflect this back to your kid.   When someone says to you, “What’s wrong with your kid’s hair?” say “She has Trichotillomania.  It’s a neurological disorder characterized by……”  This will (1) get them to shut-up and (2) give them some real information.   Get out there and talk about it.  Just think how many people talk about their colons these days!
Always remember, get the support YOU need by reaching out to others.  Take care of yourself (easy to say but hard to do).  It’s not easy, but you’ll find people willing to help you, if you make some noise!
What do you think of the list?  Do you think any of these would have helped you as a child growing up?    

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

At least 2-3% of people suffer with body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRB). 

That's twice the estimated number of people affected by OCD, Autism Spectrum Disorders, or anorexia, (according to National Institute of Mental Health).

Wow- so many people have heard of OCD, Autism Spectrum Disorders and anorexia.  But still so many have never heard of trich (or other BFRB).  Why do you think that is?
Have a Facebook account?  Here's a pic from TLC to use for your profile this week:
I just changed mine :)

Trichster shared another image that would be great to share on whatever social media you use:

Monday, September 30, 2013

You Can Make A Difference!

Tomorrow starts Trichotillomania and Skin Picking Awareness Week (October 1-7).  You ready to make some noise?  It may take stepping outside of your comfort zone a bit.. but I believe it's worth it.  I'm still surprised that so many people have never heard of trich.  And surprised that there are still so many suffering alone.  You can make a difference in someone's life just by sharing your story and spreading awareness.     
Your Ecards fliers | Search Results | CMYBacon difference, you, inspirational, inspire, encourage, white, crazy, art, Useless, fliers, make, can, will, i will, inspiration, Paper, black and white, b&w, typography
Pic via Your Ecards

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Heather's Trichy Journey

One of the best things about opening up about having trich is realizing that you're not alone.  Not only am I not alone, I am in the company of some wonderful people!  I "met" Heather when I was a part of an online support group called Trich Support.  I recently asked Heather to do a guest post and share her trichy journey with us...
  • I don't remember the exact moment that I started pulling out my hair. I know that I started being bothered by body hair when I was about 11, and I started shaving my arms, legs, underarms, toes, belly, and private areas soon after.
    My hair pulling started off slowly when I was about 12, but after a few months, it became noticeable. I always wore my hair in a low ponytail, parted down the middle. My aunt was the first to notice my missing hair, which was pretty obvious, considering that I had an inch wide gap along my part. She pointed it out to my mom, who told me to be more gentle when brushing my hair, and to make my ponytails less tight. Instead, I started wearing my hair in a high ponytail with no part, and pulling from the sides and top of my head.
    Over the next 13 years, I tried hundreds and hundreds of times to stop pulling. Every day I'd have a battle with myself. One part of my mind was telling me not to pull, that I could ignore the urges, but the other part of my mind was telling me to give in, that it would feel so good. I tried wearing hats, bandannas, and gloves, playing with silly putty and bubble wrap, rewards, exercising, eating better, seeing a therapist, taking medication, avoiding triggering situations (driving, watching TV, and reading), hypnotherapy, and acupuncture. I would sometimes go days or weeks without pulling. I once went almost a year, but eventually I would fall back into old ways.
    I have curly, red hair. I adored my hair, but I hated what Trich was doing to it. Almost every day I would have someone ask me why I never wore my hair down, how long it was, how curly it was, or why I always wore a headband. I always came up with some kind of excuse and changed the subject. Between making up excuses, trying to keep the damage covered, trying to keep my regrowth from sticking out all over the place, and dealing with the negative feelings I was having about myself, I was exhausted.
    Last summer, one of my best friends got married, and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. We’d been friends since birth, this was the first wedding I had been in, and she was marrying another woman. It was a huge deal. About a month before the wedding, she asked me what I’d like to have the hairstylist at the salon do for me for the big day. I had to tell her about Trich, and that I wasn't able to have my hair done with everyone else. This hurt me so badly, that I had caused so much damage to my hair that I was going to lose out on a special part of the day.
    I decided on that day that I would never give up trying to beat my battle with Trich. I went one day, then two, then a week, and then a month. I've now been pull free since July 20, 2012. I’m not sure what changed. I didn't change anything about my lifestyle or my day-to-day life. I told myself that I wasn't going to pull, and I haven’t. I had told myself this hundreds of times, but something was different this time. I still don’t understand why I stopped, but I’m okay with that. I’m not saying that it’s easy to “just stop”, because it obviously isn't. It makes me so angry when people ask why I couldn't just stop. Why can’t someone with OCD just stop counting things? Why can’t an alcoholic just stop drinking? It doesn't work like that.
    The thought of relapse terrifies me. I think about it every day, and sometimes I think to myself that it would be nice to pull just one hair. Sometimes I find myself touching my hair, but I've always been able to get myself to stop. I think about how much damage I could do in such a short period of time, and that really scares me. I think that even if I never pull another hair in my life, I’ll always be thinking about it. I’m going to take it one day at a time, and be grateful for the success I've had.
    Trich has hurt me in a lot of ways. It took away my self-confidence and my desire to socialize. I spent a lot of time thinking I was crazy and weak. The time I spent trying to suppress my urges exhausted me, and I don’t even want to think about the money I spent on trying different techniques to reduce my pulling. All that considered, Trich has given me a lot. I've met some wonderful people through online support groups, one of whom I consider to be one of my best friends. I’m more understanding of people who are going through different kinds of struggles, and I try to reach out to help them. I’m confident and I believe in myself. And I believe in you too.

Thank you, Heather, for sharing your trichy journey with us!
So proud of you!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

My friend Jody shared this quote the other day- and I loved it!  The quote comes from her day-to-day calendar for 2013 called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and It's all Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

"I believe you and I both deserve nice things and a good quality of life.  I think it's admirable to do your best and to always be attempting to do even better.  However, there's an enormous distinction between doing your best and always demanding that life be better than it already is, or having a prerequisite that things be different or better before you allow yourself to feel satisfied -- with you, life or with other people."
Pic via Amazon. 

Friday, September 20, 2013


Remember the Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty that I mentioned before (here)?  Well, they just posted that they are having free shipping through Sunday, September 22.  Just use the coupon code "SEPT2013" until 9/22/2013 at checkout.

And hey, if you have a trichster in your life- this would make great gift for them.  Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty even does gift wrapping- how cute!
Pic via Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty
Once again, I didn't have enough time to take a shower before dropping my son off to preschool.  But can I drop him off without make-up?  No.  So I put on my eye make-up for those few minutes where I'd have to be seen by other people... just to come home and finally get a chance to take a shower.  How nice would it be to run out without make-up and not care?!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Spreading Awareness

As many of you know Trichotillomania and Skin Picking Awareness Week is coming up (October 1st-7th).  And did you know that the Governor Patrick of Massachusetts has, for the 7th consecutive year, proclaimed Oct 1-7 2013 to be Trichotillomania Awareness Week in the Commonwealth?  How cool is that?!?  Want to see the same thing happen in your state?  Here's what TLC shared in their page Raise Awareness of Trichotillomania, Skin Picking & Related BFRBs:

Secure a Governor or Mayoral Proclamation declaring Oct. 1-7, 2013 for BFRB Awareness Week
Visit your state/city website for information on how to secure a proclamation. Here is some sample text:

Whereas, Trichotillomania & Skin Picking Disorders impulse control disorders that cause people to pull out the their hair and/or pick at their skin; and,
Whereas,Trichotillomania & Skin Picking Disorders are estimated to affect at least two percent of the American population; and,
Whereas, For many, the psychological impact of Trichotillomania & Skin Picking Disorder can be severe, including intense feelings of shame, isolation and loss of control; and,
Whereas, Research into treatments for Trichotillomania & Skin Picking Disorder has grown over the past 20 years, however no one treatment has been found to be effective for everyone; and now therefore be it,
Resolved, That I (governor's name), Governor of the State of ___________________, do hereby proclaim the week of October 1, 20013, as Trichotillomania Awareness Week, and I encourage citizens to become better acquainted with this disease and it's consequences.

Passing this along

TLC posted this today:

Need brochures for Awareness Week, a new tangle or spinner ring? What about some resource books? Or Clinical Training DVDs?
Save 15% on Books,Fiddles, Jewelry & DVDs at

Enter Discount Code: fall13

Offer expires 9/30/13. Not valid on TLC Membership

Monday, September 16, 2013

I love the verses found in Philippians 4:6-7.  It is such a great reminder, so I had to share it (I've also added it to the bottom of the sidebar). We don't need to worry about anything- just talk to God about it.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Last night I had a dream that I was practically bald.  And it freaked me out.  It was one of the dreams that feels so real and even when you wake up it takes a second to realize, "Phew, it was just a dream!"  Anyone else ever had a dream or nightmare about trich?

Friday, September 13, 2013

It's almost here

Trichotillomania & Skin Picking Disorder National Awareness Week is coming up.  For the week of October 1st, what are you going to do to help spread awareness?
trichotillomania awareness, dermatillomania awareness
Image via TLC
Check out TLC's suggestions here.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

For my birthday today, I'm giving myself...

One Week Pull-Free!
I think it's going to be a good year!  
And yes, that's my littlest in the pic... apparently she thought we were being hand models :)

Thursday, September 5, 2013

It's 9 o'clock on a Thursday morning and I haven't pulled a single hair, lash, or brow yet.  Heck... why not try to go for a pull free day!?  Every day is a new day, right?

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

With and Without Make-up

One eye with make-up and one eye without.
Pretty obvious which one is which (click to enlarge).
Only my husband and kids see me without make-up on a regular basis (well, and you guys have seen your fair share of pictures too).  Some of my other family members may have seen me without, but that's extremely rare.  And I don't go out in public without make-up and even my closet friends haven't seen me without.  And yes, I know most people look a little different without make-up... but I feel like a totally different person- a very unattractive person that I wouldn't want people to see.  I wonder what my kids think (they're 6, 4, and 2)... can they tell a drastic difference like I can or do I still just seem like Mom either way.  Hmmm??  

Just wanted to pass this post along to you all (Josie posted this after the Mrs. America pageant).

Friday, August 30, 2013

I've been using Maybelline's Define-A-Brow for some time now.  I knew I was running low so I went to Target to get another... couldn't find it.  And with my luck, I actually ran out the next day.  Completely gone.  I guess I was more than just running low.  So today I had to run errands without my brows filled it.  I decided to try stopping by Walgreen's and see if they had.  They did- just the wrong color.  And there wasn't even a spot for the light blonde.  Crap!  So I started looking at other brands, not really sure what to get.  Then the sweet old lady asked if I needed help.  I told her that they didn't appear to have what I was looking for and she recommended this:  Milani Easybrow in Natural Taupe (I just saw this Brow Fix on their site- seems interesting... might have to check that out).  
Before and After
(It's a pretty subtle difference cause I put it on pretty light- wasn't sure how the color was going to be.  So I'm sure it will look better when I've used a few more times).  Overall, pretty happy- and it was cheap too!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Josie shared another great video.  Brought tears to my eyes.  Thanks for spreading awareness and bringing hope to so many!

Monday, August 26, 2013

Good luck, Josie!

picture via Josie's Facebook page
As Mrs. North Carolina, Josie will be competing in the preliminary competition today and the final competition will be held on Wednesday, August 28th.  Josie is TLC's Awareness Ambassador, she is a part of the trich community, one of us... and she is helping spread the word about trichotillomania.  You can watch the competition live online. Go to for more details (I did check it out- it is a live stream of the pageant, but it is pay per view just so you know).
picture via
Good luck, Josie!!  The trich community is behind you and wishing you the best!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Last night wasn't great... the pulling seemed non-stop.
But today is a new day!

i want something like this that says "this i the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

Saturday, August 24, 2013

"Our you taking responsibility for your life... really?"

I just had to share this with you.  My church just finished watching a series by Andy Stanley called "Taking Responsibility For Your Life".  It is such a great and practical message.  If you have time- sit down and watch or listen to this four part message (Let the Blames Begin, The Disproportionate Life, This is No Time to Pray, and Embrace Your Response Ability) .

Watch message series here:

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Mrs. North Carolina is on her way!

Josie posted this picture yesterdayPhoto: This is happening! Arizona bound!

#mrsnc #mrsnorthcarolina #trich #trichotillomania #carolinagirl #notthcarolina
She is on her way now to Mrs. America.  And she is definitely going to make the trich community proud!  Good luck, Josie!

Watch the live stream of the pageant at Prelims are Monday, the 26th (not broadcasting 100% of the time) and Finals are at 8 pm EST on the 28th.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Today is the birthday of my biggest supporter!  So thankful to have Brad as my husband and best friend!  My journey is so much better with him by my side!  Happy Birthday, Brad!

Thursday, August 8, 2013


Years and years ago (like back in high school) I had a gratitude journal.  I think I got the idea from Oprah (my older sister Christina used to be a big Oprah fan).  I simply wrote down like 5 things a day that I was thankful for that day.  And I'm thinking I should do something like this again because...  
So I'm still deciding what I want to do exactly, but I might start a weekly post of what I'm grateful for.  And I'm hoping this attitude of gratitude will get me out of my funk, but more importantly... this is something I should be doing anyway.  God has blessed me and I want to give Him thanks for all that He has done.

So to start off... I'm going to sound cliché and say that I'm thankful for my family.  In regards to my trich, they are SO supportive.  They all know I have it and they all love me the same.  And even the little things like, my sister Kimberly posts about Trichotillomania Awareness Week on her facebook page and she bought me a spinner ring, my in-laws, parents and sisters donated money to the documentary Trichster... they support me and it means so much!  Some people suffer alone.  But I'm not alone- I'm supported and loved by my family.  And for that I am grateful! 

Friday, August 2, 2013

I'm still here.  I'm just not feeling great.  And haven't had much to say.  I don't know why, but I've been feeling down lately.  I don't want to use the word "depressed" because depression is a serious illness.  And having people close to me who have suffered with depression... I don't use the word lightly.  Besides that I've never been diagnosed with depression.  So... I'm not saying "I'm depressed".  I'm just down right now and feeling sad for no reason... or maybe it's a million reasons?  So I'm still here.  Just trying to figure out a way to pick myself up out of this funk.  

I know in some cases, people with trich suffer from depression or anxiety.  Maybe that's me.  And maybe that person is you.  So while I'm on this subject... I want to share a book with you: "Not Alone, Stories Of Living With Depression."  Each chapter of this book is written by someone who has experienced depression in their lives.  The book is broken up into several categories: Awareness, Acceptance, Recovery, and Post-Depression Reflections.  My sister is one of the contributing authors; her story can be found in chapter 22, The Game of Life. 

Here's a peak at my sister's story:
Life didn't magically become better.  The life I knew was filled with instant gratification, fulfilling my emotions, wants, and desires.  I was in unfamiliar territory.  Could I really do this?  Just few days after I was discharged from rehab, I was staying at a hotel.  It was getting late and I couldn't sleep.  My mind was racing which was an all too familiar scenario.  Grabbing my new pack of Parliament Lights, I ran out of my room.  What I really wanted to do was run from my own thoughts.  I lit up a cigarette and broke down in tears.  Sitting on the cold sidewalk, I didn't even notice the other patrons passing me by.  Eventually I realized a man was knelt beside me.  "Are you okay," he said.  Hyperventilating I replied, "I'm fine."  He was not convinced.  As quickly as he stopped, he was gone.  His question pulled me out of that moment.  I looked down at a now half-empty pack of cigarettes, and I covered my face with my hands.  And I just whispered, "God, I need you."  I began to say it under my breath over and over and over.  The simple four-word prayer of "God, I need you," has become the simplest prayer I say everyday since that cold November night.

I don't know what's up with my emotions and feeling right now.  I don't know why I've feeling this way.  But I do know that my sister's prayer is mine too... God, I need you! 

Monday, July 22, 2013

One of my trich friends just celebrated one year of being pull free!  
How cool is that?!

Congratulations, Heather!
(cupcake pic by CakeChooser)

Friday, July 19, 2013

Thinking Putty

This is more than silly putty... this is thinking putty.  And it's awesome!  Crazy Aaron's Putty World has the coolest putty you will ever find (You can check them on on their facebook page too: here).
Color: Super Illusions Super Lava
I bought some a long time ago (like probably 8+ years ago and unfortunately I've lost it since then).  Once people saw my putty, they wanted their own.  My husband got one and took it to work, my sister got one and it was always in her purse (as well as bouncy balls and Smarties), and a bunch of friends ended up ordering their own tins of putty too!  They all loved it!  It's a great way to keep your hands busy!  And it's not that tiny container of putty that you used to copy the comic strips with... the tin comes with 1/5lb of putty.  It's adult sized putty :)
Color: Super Illusions Super Oil Slick
And it comes in cool colors too.  They even have magnetic, heat sensitive and glow in the dark.  So if you're looking for something to keep your hands busy- you have to check out Crazy Aaron's Putty (you can order online and it's also sold in some stores too).  
Color: Super Illusions Super Scarab
*All pictures are from Crazy Aaron's Putty World