Thoughts

Fun Fact from Brain Games: "You have approximately 70,000 thoughts per day, although many may be the same thought repeating itself."

Wonder how many of my thoughts are trich related?  Hopefully less and less everyday.  Although trich will always be a part of life, I don't want it to consume my life.

My hair was way overdue for a highlights and a trim.  It'd been like 6 months I think- getting a little dull and straggly (not to mention the bedhead in the first photo too).  Feels so much better now.  I LOVE that I have a stylist that I feel comfortable with.  Jamie is wonderful and I don't dread getting my hair done.  I can talk openly about my trich with her and feel okay about it.  I didn't even draw in my eyebrows today cause I just didn't feel like it.  And I felt comfortable with that.  I pointed it out to her and she said, oh, yours are like mine (Jamie has light eyebrows too) .  She saw them as light- not missing.  She didn't notice the damage and said most people probably wouldn't either.  I felt normal.  Normal can be such a great feeling.  I used to hate getting my hair done- and now I leave actually feeling good about myself.  What a difference a friend can make!  

Remodeling Project

Trich really hasn't been in the forefront of my mind lately.  Not saying I don't ever think about it, but I haven't focused on it.  I feel like there are so many areas in my life that need work.  The list for this remodeling project seems never ending.  And I just can't tackle them all at once.  It's overwhelming.  Not that trich isn't an important battle, but it feels a little cosmetic.  Take this kitchen for example.  I feel like focusing all my energy on trich would be adding a new coat of paint to these walls.  Yeah, it could use it, but clearly there are other issues that need to be addressed first.  Like clearing out the clutter.  And I think the hole in the ceiling should probably be addressed before painting the walls.      

 Do I like what I see in the mirror?  No.  But I need to do more than just plant flowers in the yard- that still won't make it "pretty."  I want to work on all of me.  Heart, soul and body.  And by body, I don't just mean a long set of lashes- I need to get in shape and take care of my body.  And you know... maybe taking care of all me will actually help take care of those cosmetic flaws staring at me in the mirror.    

Both images from Ugly House Photos
Anyone else feel like me?  Like you need to declutter, fix, improve, remodel so much about yourself?  Or do you guys got it all together? ;)  

Great quote

TLC shared a poem that a dad had shared on the Facebook group Trichy Parenting... and now I'm sharing it with you.  She's a lucky girl.    

My daughter pulls most when she's stressed.
I eat most when I'm tired
My daughter pulls most when she's driving alone.
I eat most when I'm stressed.
My daughter pulled most when she's bored
I eat most when I'm bored.

My daughter wears a wig
I wear a Xxl....ok xxxl

My daughters pulling doesn't bother her till she looks in the mirror
My weight doesnt bother me until have to go to a function and my suit doesn't fit.

She should stop pulling
I should stop eating so much.

We are the same.
I am not better than her.
She is not better than me
She loves me
I love her

Any of you lucky enough to have a support system like this girl?  I know I've been blessed with a wonderfully supportive family!  It makes such a difference to know you have someone standing beside you.

Not sure what happened

I don't pull from my bottom lashes.  Bottom lashes hurt too much to pull (that probably sounds weird coming from someone who pulls their top lashes, brows and hair).  Not sure why it's more sensitive or painful, but it is- so I've never had any urges to pull them.  Occasionally, I'll pull out the tweezers and grab one that is causing a top lash to snag.  I figure I'd rather get rid of one single lash that's causing a problem instead of ripping out a bunch of my top lashes.  And even then, it hurts to pull them out.  So the other day I was rather surprised to see a gap in my bottom lashes (which I think stands out waaay more than top lashes).  I don't pull my bottom lashes!  I don't have an urge to pull them!  Why were some missing!?!?  I felt kind of annoyed, but oh, well... they'll grow back and it won't get worse cause I (honestly) don't have any urge to pull them.  THEN... today I was just tugging for loose lashes (like normal people do sometimes... I think?).  Not sure if my mascara was bothering me (I think it's getting old and dry), but I tugged my bottom lashes (near the newly formed gap) and without any sensation- at least 4 lashes just fell out. I was shocked.  I didn't even feel them put up a fight.  They truly felt like loose lashes, ready to give up the ghost.  I went to the mirror, stunned... and sad.  This isn't my problem area... now it looks awful.  

And there's one lonely lash in the middle of this gap that sticks out like a sore thumb (see pic below).  I don't want to pull that one either, but it seems so obvious just sitting there.  And if I pull it, I feel like it'll make the gap complete.  One giant gap (which I don't want). I also know that one lash isn't going to do the job of several lashes- no matter how much mascara I can goop on it.  It's still a gap.  It just looks awful.

Not feeling great.