Hello Beautiful...

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I'm just sitting on the couch next to Brad while he's watching the Blackhawks... And out of nowhere he turns my wrist over to see how many beads (if any) are on my bracelet.  Then gives me a high five :)

So thankful for a loving and supportive husband!

The urge to pull my lashes and brows just hasn't been here these past few days.  So that hasn't been a challenge so far.  BUT... the mindless pulling from my scalp has been a challenge.  

I haven't pulled yet, but it hasn't been easy.  And I wouldn't even say I've had the "urge" to pull from my scalp... it's not like I even get urges there.  It's just what I do.  It's so thoughtless.  Like it gives me something to kill time with or something.  Kids are taking forever to get their shoes on- pull a hair.  Light just turned red at the intersection- pull a hair.  Hubby is fast-forwarding through commercials- pull a hair.  Thinking about what I'll type in my next sentence- pull a hair.  It's just what I do.  No strong urge.  No specific hair screaming at me to be pulled.  No tormenting going on in my brain.  I just do it whenever- not matter the feeling.  

So to avoid that pulling, I haven't even allowed myself to touch my hair.  A simple touch leads to searching for off hairs.  Maybe I'll just give it a tug... but it doesn't take much of a tug to lose a weak hair.  And before I know it I've unintentionally pulled a hair.  So I'm keeping my hands down cause just a touch would be too much.

Something I need to work on...

I'm thinking I need to change my way of thinking.  I've gone through many emotions in the past 20+ years of having trich.  I've hated it, ignored it, accepted it again and again.  And I think all those emotions are normal.  But here's where my thinking needs to change... When it comes to wanting to fight trich it's normally because I hate the way I look or feel.  Instead, I should want to fight trich because I love myself and want the best for me.  Just like losing weight or something- I need to do it because I love myself and not because I hate myself.  This type of thinking might take some time to change... especially since I'm prone to thinking negative.  I tend to have that twisted thinking of " I'll love myself when..." or "I'll feel beautiful once I..."  No- I need to love myself now, just the way I am.  And love myself enough to change the things in my life that need to be changed.

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One bead at a time

My oldest noticed my bracelet this morning.  "Mom, did you make that?!  Can I make one too?!  Except mine's going to be prettier!  I'm going to put a bunch of beads on mine instead of just one."  Hopefully I'll have a bunch of beads too eventually :)

Phew!  I remembered to take my NAC both times today!  I'm going to try to take one at breakfast and one at dinner.  It's not quite dinner yet, but I'm heading to my in-laws for dinner and I didn't want to forget.  Hopefully I will continue to remember it... long enough to start seeing it work.

Day one.

Today I am starting my pull free challenge (and some wonderful people are joining me too!).  And to help me along with this, I'll be making a pull free bracelet (see previous post here) as well... hopefully I'll be filling it up with beads!!  I'm also going to start taking NAC again today.

And since progress can be seen best with pictures (I think)... Here's some before pictures from yesterday morning with and without make-up (click to enlarge).

Yikes- right out of the shower, blemishes and all.  And I look like I have absolutely no lashes- the ones I do are very light (brows too).

Thank God for make-up!  I'm sure a smile wouldn't hurt either! :)

See I actually do have some top lashes.  I don't pull my bottom lashes.  Well, I have a few times, but it hurts and I really have no urge to pull them anyway.

 Looking forward to seeing some progress in my after photos. Oh, and I do pull from my scalp as well... I have little hairs sticking out everywhere.

So starting today- I will try to fight the urges to pull any hair, lash or brow.  I'm not even going to tweeze stray brows cause honestly- my brows are so thin I'm not even sure where they should be anymore.  

We can do this!!!  Good luck, guys! :)